Reflections｜Answering whatever others ask you to—no wonder you feel uneasy.

Feeling drained and uncomfortable in social situations often stems from one thing—your inability to say no. When others ask, you answer; when they bring up topics, you engage. Whether it's genuine concern, subtle probing, or mere idle chatter to pass the time.

You constantly fear awkward silences or strained atmospheres. But frankly, if others aren't afraid to ask, why should you be afraid of awkwardness? Why should you feel obliged to maintain a constant smile and answer every question?

Remember, all conversation is a two-way street. To escape this ‘answer fatigue,’ you must first learn: not to answer. ‘Your feelings and boundaries matter more than their “curiosity” or “prying.”’

Here's how to reclaim control of the conversation:

1️⃣ The Counter-Question Method

‘What made you ask that?’ — Throw the question back, forcing them to explain their intent first.

2️⃣ The Vague Approach

‘It was... fine/okay/quite interesting. How have you been?’ — Offer no specifics and swiftly change the subject.

3️⃣ The Boundary Approach

‘I'm afraid I can't really discuss that.’ — Polite yet direct, clearly setting your limits.

4️⃣ The Humour Approach

‘That's beyond the syllabus—you'll need to pay extra!’ — Deflect with humour without damaging rapport.

When you start selectively responding to questions, you'll find yourself far more at ease. Not every query merits an answer, nor every expectation deserves fulfilment.

Your energy and attention are your most precious resources. You have the right to decide who enters, what stays, and what must be kept at bay.